Ridgeway man sheds the ‘tough guy’ armour in his first published work

Andrew Hawlitzky
August 24, 2026 at 3:01 AM

Rob Spehar’s wife asked him a simple question: if he wanted a different life, why didn’t he go get it?

He couldn’t answer her. That silence, the Ridgeway resident says, is what his first published book chapter is about.

Rob Spehar contributed a chapter to ‘The Sovereign Man: When Men Tell the Truth,’ released by Sovereign Acres Publishing as part of its Sovereign series of collaborative books.

The series collected stories from 1,300 men across Canada writing about fear, addiction, relationships and the pressure to appear “tough.”

“Society really has men putting up the shield and armour,” Spehar told Fort Erie Radio. “This really sheds that armour and allows men to be vulnerable and tell their truth.”

His chapter, “I Was the Problem and the Solution,” opens with a question he put to himself: if you died tomorrow, what would you be remembered for?

“For me, what came to my mind was I’m a guy with a sense of humour and I give great hugs,” he said.

The rest of the chapter looks at why he settled for that answer. Fear, he says, made his decisions for most of his life.

“Throughout my life, I was really challenged in going after what I want,” he said. “Whenever I was faced with fear, I would be like, ‘No, I can’t do that. No, I want to stay safe.'”

Rob Spehar, rear, with his family. Credit: The Spehar Initiative

Spehar turns 50 this year and spent years believing he could not change his outlook on life. He heard the same doubts from several men he interviewed on his former Fort Erie-area podcast, The Spehar Initiative: “I don’t know what to do. I’m too old. I can’t change now.”

“It’s not like you’re going to be changed overnight. No, it’s a long game. You got to face a lot of things, but the benefits are tenfold,” he said.

Spehar got involved in the project through a friend in Hamilton, who connected him with the publisher’s series. He said he had wanted for years to tell his story.

The book is sold through Amazon. Spehar’s podcast is on hiatus while he considers a rebrand.

“Understand that there are people out there who are going through things and a conversation can change a lot,” he said. “You can inspire somebody you don’t even realize.”

About The Author

Andrew Hawlitzky

Andrew is a Niagara community journalist who has covered everything from local politics to annual festivals and breaking news. He works to make local news a platform where community voices lead the conversation. "If you don't like the news, go out and make some!"